Wednesday, 8 August 2012

What a Scooter Accident Taught Me about Dying & Rebirth!

On Thursday the 28th of June 2012 I had a scooter accident. It happened as I was on my way to reach a private client our weekly session.

Both the driver and I were at fault. Luckily it wasn't too serious.
I injured my right shoulder. I have lost the usual range of motion in the shoulder as well as strength. Other than that I had a few scratches bruises and some road graze. My scooter was a complete write off! The other woman's car had a damaged side mirror, that was it.

The following days I was totally stiff and could barely move my right arm. I recovered quite quickly and was teaching yoga by the following Tuesday. I decided to cancel all public classes I was teaching and just teach my three private clients. As I was teaching my first private session of the week, my arm started to feel better during the warm up. I was very grateful for that.

I realised how lucky I was to have discovered yoga. it's probably because of my flexibility through my yoga practice that I had gotten away with only a sore shoulder. I felt hope creep back into my heart.

After the accident over the weekend. I was feeling very lost and a little bitter. I could feel that my hope, zest & courage had all sunk. I was feeling bitter for my situation... bitter that I couldn't afford a safer means of transport, bitter towards the person who turned into me, bitter towards my husband for not allowing me to have perused my dreams earlier so that we would never have fought so much & then I would never have had to separate our relationship, bitter towards the world for demanding so much to survive. I wanted to blame everyone else for my circumstances, because I felt like I had to sacrifice my life for what I wanted & couldn't get a break.
It took a while for the lesson to sink in, but YES, I have to give up my old life for the one I want to make!

I won't be able to enjoy the life I want if I don't leave the one I had behind or at least my old self. And there I was, blaming the whole world again just like I used to. Sometimes things don't always go as planned. In my case, I wasn't fully present and acted on impulse rather than approaching with caution & a little reason, causing my part of the accident.

Of course, the accident didn't do any good for my business. July was probably my worst month of the year and it's been pretty hard to get students to come back to the early morning yoga classes that I do teach. I felt the uncertainness and my fears pulling me down. I also had to wait for insurance to pay out to get some new wheels. But on the ups side, it gave me the space to recover physically more. I'm still not out of the shiz, but I have a feeling things will pick up.
Do I still have that burning fire to pursue my dreams to be of more service through yoga movement & meditation? You can bet your old life I still do!

So what things are you not taking responsibility for? What are you feeling bitter over? Who are you blaming, condemning & not forgiving? Are you big enough to admit your part for being or staying in your situation? What actions steps can you make and execute towards that change you know you want?

The old you has to die, just as the phoenix does, so that you too can be reborn! If you don't, that life you're dreaming of will always be just outside your reach.

"Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix." ~ Christina Baldwin

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